Top 24 Dawgs: No One Admits To Being Forgettable (2/19)

Welcome Back Idol Fans!

New Season! New Site!

It’s a lot cleaner than Livejournal and Entertainment Weekly put some other guys American Idol Blog in the Top 20 Blogs About Television…so it’s on like Donkey Kong!

But let’s get to the show…

As much as I didn’t want to believe Ryan the 700 times during Hollywood Week that he said this season yielded our STRONGEST TALENT EVER! (drink) But it kind of does and certainly yields the whitest teeth ever! This is the first Top 24 Show where an Idol was not completely painful vocally. There were bad performances and creepy contestants, but for the most part…these guys could blow. (Thanks Randy!)

The show starts and something is different about Ryan…perhaps some plastic surgery?

Paula starts off the show with a couple lucid jokes! Good for her.

And cue the Blake Lewis song “Break Anotha” as the American Idol tries to make up for the lost air time that half the Top 24 did not receive with an AMAZING MONTAGE! Then Ryan Seacrest tells me that this Top 24 night has a 60s theme! Say What!? Oh and this season, each contestant has a “story”.

1-David Hernand-who?

My Song: “Midnight Hour” by Wilson Pickett
My Story: Ever since I was little, cameras have been getting very close to my face so that I just look like a disembodied head when I sing on national television shows.

He’s in trouble. He went first and sang like cheap vanilla ice cream. Bland and forgettable. I do hope that he gets enough money to buy a clean shirt though. Simon called him a “rabbit in the headlight” which leaves me a bit confused but rabbit it is. Good beginning but the rest of the performance didn’t live up to the hype.

2-Chikezie Eze

My Song: “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” by Staircase Spiral
My Story: My father is Gary Coleman.

My problem with Chikezie is that he is always slow to start a song. It’s rough in the beginning and then he ends it strong! Not a bad problem to have but that first minute is more than a little painful. It was nice that Chikezie found some clothes from the 60s to wear tonight, but something that he wore that did not look good was his attitude! Asking Simon if Charlie Chaplin was his stylist was funny, but then Chikezie took it too far and overreacted to Simon’s negative comments.

Chikezie needs to CALM DOWN!

3-David Cook

My Song: “So Happy Together”
My Story: I want to be the next American Idol so that people outside my circle of friends can tell me, “You don’t suck”.

Beginning was terrible but as the song went on he made it his own. His performances might be a bit better if he opened his eyes more, but maybe that’s asking to much. He is totally trying to be the new Constantine but he isn’t dirty enough.

4-Jason Yeager

My Song: “Moon River”
My Story: I want to be the next American Idol because my son needs a haircut.

Very early in the season to whip out the old sit and sing on a stool bit, but he did. The song made Paula think of her first ballet recital, made Simon think of the first puppy he bought, and made me want to puke…in Moon River. Jason Yeager’s performance was laughable. He works as a singing waiter and it shows. American Idol isn’t the place for him…Carnival Cruise Line is! AND THEN…the boy tries to play the dead grandmother card! SAY WHAT!? Jason is 28 years old, his grandmother died when he was 16. He did that to get votes. For shame David!

5-Robbie Carraco

My Song: “One Is The Loneliest Number”
My Story: In the 90s, I was in a boy/girl group that toured with Britney Spears. Since then I’ve been working as a Sasquatch!

Bad arrangement, but the two sentences that he did sing over and over again were quite good! I think Paula said it best when she concluded that his performance “wasn’t over the top, but right in the pocket”. I couldn’t agree more Paula.

6-David Archuleta

My Song: “Shop Around”
My Story: My vocal chord was paralyzed for a bit AND I sang to Kelly Clarkson when I was 10!

I have no doubt that David Archuleta will make it to the Final Two. He is AH-DORABLE! He can sing! And America will fall in love with him! The thing that is most refreshing about young David Archuleta (who is ONLY 17 which the judges may mention once or twice) is that he has NO idea how good he is! His performance was my favorite performance of the night!

7-Danny Noriega

My Song: “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley
My Story: I want to be the next American Idol because I want to add some swagger, some attitude, and make it hot!

Simon called his performance “grotesque”!
Paula said that there were “lots of colors of Danny coming out”!
I say the moment that Danny Noriega snapped his head at Simon, I knew I wanted Danny Boy to stay around! Not only can he really sing, but the boy is entertaining!

8-Luke Menard

My Song: Some song from Urban Cowboy.
My Story: I clean carpets and look like Orlando Bloom…or Luke Perry…and wear hoodies.

Don’t quit your day job, Dirt Devil!

9-Colton Berry

My Song: “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis Presley
My Story: When I get really nervous…I sing the Teletubbies theme song to myself.

More like suspicious pants! For serious, what was going on with his bright blue pants and blue suspenders! Odd clothing choices aside, this was a good performance and Colton can actually sing quite well. Simon was a bit heavy-handed with the comments…”complete waste of time”, “no relevance”, and “spent more time on hair than vocals”, but I’m not entirely sure if Simon meant it. He may have been helping the two boys that sang Elvis songs by being mean to them. Hmmm…

10-Garrett Hailey

My Song: “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”…
My Story: …but not being creepy is even harder for me to do.

Creepy mustache. Creepy slender hands grabbing the mic. Creepy hair. Creepy nasal voice. Simon was right…he does kind of look haunted. Sounded aiight, but I couldn’t stop crying from fear to listen that well.

11-Jason Castro

My Song: “Daydream”
My Story: My mom was a Janice from The Muppets.

They say that everything is bigger in Texas and apparently that applies to dreads too. I really dug this kid! Great vibe! Very joyful! I hope he makes it through despite no air time during Hollywood Week.

12-Michael Johns

My Song: “Light My Fire”
My Story: I have an admantium skeleton. *snikt*

So Michael Johns set off flames of a different kind during his performances. I imagine Paula was ablaze. The Aussie will definitely make it into the Top 12 for sure.

Final Thoughts:
This was the best overall Top 24 Boys night in the history of Idol. This may be the best season of Idol yet. However, we still need to lose a few before getting to our Top 12.

Based on performance: Carnival Cruises (Jason Yeager) and Casper The Creepy Ghost (Garrett Hailey) should go.
Based on vocals: Dirt Devil (Luke Menard)
Based on because he was first and forgettable: David Hernandez

JRamp Out!